








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 14 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,250 of utility $7 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DIREKTORI | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Miragro | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | david | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ReplacingCrib | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Furt | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | david | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ReplacingCrib | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Furt | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Masterchieff3312 | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Geert de Palingroker | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geert de Palingroker | 7 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | david | 6 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | ReplacingCrib | 4 | 0.0192 |
| #4 | Miragro | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Furt | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | david | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | ReplacingCrib | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Miragro | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Masterchieff3312 | 20 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Geert de Palingroker | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miragro | +7.41 | 69 | 31 |
| #2 | david | +3.60 | 45 | 27 |
| #3 | DIREKTORI | +2.08 | 22 | 24 |
| #4 | ReplacingCrib | +1.74 | 31 | 63 |
| #5 | boterkoekje | -0.93 | 19 | 4 |





