








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 877 | 29% |
| Smokes | 664 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 771 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,218 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Furt | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | DIREKTORI | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | boterkoekje | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ReplacingCrib | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | Miragro | 55% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ReplacingCrib | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | Miragro | 55% | 100 |
| #6 | Geert de Palingroker | 55% | 82 |
| #7 | Masterchieff3312 | 49% | 71 |
| #8 | Beetlehunter | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geert de Palingroker | 36 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | Miragro | 27 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | ReplacingCrib | 25 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | boterkoekje | 7 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | Masterchieff3312 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReplacingCrib | 295 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Masterchieff3312 | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Miragro | 96 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Geert de Palingroker | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | DIREKTORI | 33 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miragro | +7.04 | 77 | 28 |
| #2 | david | +1.98 | 39 | 29 |
| #3 | ReplacingCrib | +0.14 | 35 | 60 |
| #4 | DIREKTORI | -1.15 | 36 | 14 |
| #5 | Geert de Palingroker | -1.24 | 32 | 14 |





