








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 31 | 11% |
| Smokes | 96 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 35 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 119 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,905 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThomasCool | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Dayfit | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | Replacingcrib | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | Miragro | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | Garry | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dayfit | 14 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | Garry | 13 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | Replacingcrib | 12 | 0.0337 |
| #4 | Miragro | 9 | 0.0279 |
| #5 | weekampbrent | 4 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Replacingcrib | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dayfit | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Miragro | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | ThomasCool | 11 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Garry | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miragro | +6.03 | 72 | 30 |
| #2 | Dayfit | +3.69 | 36 | 33 |
| #3 | Replacingcrib | +1.19 | 36 | 63 |
| #4 | Garry | +0.26 | 38 | 23 |
| #5 | ThomasCool | -0.70 | 58 | 39 |





