








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




219 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2809 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3322 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5690 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,835 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hugowh | 149 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Ringer | 84 | 0.0232 |
| #3 | Masterchieff | 75 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Garry | 32 | 0.0251 |
| #5 | Dayfit | 31 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masterchieff | 862 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | hugowh | 806 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Replacingcrib | 321 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dayfit | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ringer | 222 | 0.06 | 4 min |





