








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 171 matches | 1,888 | |
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4272 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3257 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1572 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3645 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,178,195 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuckerman | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | atre | 61% | 92 |
| #3 | (: | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | intika | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | Asking- | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atre | 200 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | wajk | 196 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | :mean1 | 191 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cuckerman | 118 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | intika | 111 | 0.16 | 3 min |





