








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3066 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 183 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6110 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6214 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7235 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5649 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,286,610 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1737 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bo-Lennart | 61% | 92 |
| #9 | (: | 61% | 168 |
| #10 | :mean1 | 57% | 304 |
| #11 | 〠 HEJFLICKA 〠 | 49% | 84 |
| #12 | FU|SK M0skeL | 43% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :mean1 | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | JETSKII | 17 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | wajk | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Asking- | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Cuckerman | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wajk | 1234 | 0.21 | 33 min |
| #2 | :mean1 | 1211 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #3 | Cuckerman | 913 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #4 | FU|SK M0skeL | 704 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #5 | (: | 636 | 0.19 | 19 min |





