








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3181 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2772 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3851 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3859 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,342,676 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brimski | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | gerald | 51% | 242 |
| #3 | Fyur1ous | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | Jawn | 47% | 150 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 46% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gerald | 51% | 242 |
| #3 | Fyur1ous | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | Jawn | 47% | 150 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 46% | 190 |
| #6 | Irusu | 42% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irusu | 85 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | gerald | 80 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | Jawn | 25 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Fyur1ous | 25 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 22 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | 879 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jawn | 247 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 210 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Irusu | 201 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | 93 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +4.62 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | Skeenter | +1.30 | 76 | 44 |
| #3 | Jawn | +0.06 | 50 | 48 |
| #4 | Fyur1ous | -1.06 | 78 | 24 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | -1.93 | 56 | 20 |





