








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2884 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2319 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2847 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3017 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,376,613 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyur1ous | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | A "e-Sports" J | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | PlaneCookie | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Skeenter | 47% | 150 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 47% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | 60 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | Irusu | 36 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Skeenter | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | A "e-Sports" J | 13 | 0.0194 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | 526 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Diabetic Johnson | 207 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Irusu | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Skeenter | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brimski | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +6.61 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | A "e-Sports" J | +2.93 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | Devil of the Rhine | +1.16 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | Skeenter | +0.74 | 73 | 44 |
| #5 | Jawn | +0.47 | 59 | 52 |





