








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 61% |
| Smokes | 231 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,868 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeenter | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | LittleG | 43% | 75 |
| #3 | Jawn | 39% | 56 |
| #4 | Diabetic Johnson | 34% | 65 |
| #5 | gerald | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LittleG | 43% | 75 |
| #3 | Jawn | 39% | 56 |
| #4 | Diabetic Johnson | 34% | 65 |
| #5 | gerald | 32% | 19 |
| #6 | Irusu | 30% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleG | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Irusu | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Jawn | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Skeenter | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 7 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawn | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | gerald | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Skeenter | 55 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Irusu | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +5.02 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | Skeenter | +4.79 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | +1.13 | 76 | 20 |
| #4 | Jawn | +0.69 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | LittleG | +0.47 | 51 | 18 |





