










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




204 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8981 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7722 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5160 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6117 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,070 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeenter | 51% | 242 |
| #2 | col. mustard | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Fyur1ous | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | Diabetic Johnson | 48% | 97 |
| #5 | Irusu | 42% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irusu | 54 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | Skeenter | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Jawn | 17 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | John Fartbuckle | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | 15 | 0.0220 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Fartbuckle | 430 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jawn | 254 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skeenter | 208 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Irusu | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 127 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +4.88 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | Skeenter | -0.02 | 74 | 44 |
| #3 | col. mustard | -0.34 | 48 | 45 |
| #4 | Jawn | -1.60 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | -2.05 | 80 | 30 |





