








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1346 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1138 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,576 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diabetic Johnson | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Jawn | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Devil of the Rhine | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | Skeenter | 49% | 89 |
| #5 | gerald | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skeenter | 49% | 89 |
| #5 | gerald | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | Irusu | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | PlaneCookie | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | wya14k._ | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irusu | 31 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | gerald | 18 | 0.0253 |
| #3 | wya14k._ | 15 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | Devil of the Rhine | 13 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Skeenter | 12 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devil of the Rhine | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | gerald | 135 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | wya14k._ | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Irusu | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skeenter | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +6.99 | 87 | 53 |
| #2 | Skeenter | +3.60 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | Jawn | +3.13 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Devil of the Rhine | +2.66 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | -0.19 | 77 | 36 |





