








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




201 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1669 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1796 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1908 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2154 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,404,704 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diabetic Johnson | 51% | 163 |
| #2 | Fyur1ous | 48% | 75 |
| #3 | Jawn | 45% | 139 |
| #4 | PlaneCookie | 43% | 76 |
| #5 | LittleG | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LittleG | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | Skeenter | 42% | 252 |
| #7 | Devil of the Rhine | 42% | 79 |
| #8 | gerald | 42% | 142 |
| #9 | Brimski | 30% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | 45 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Skeenter | 25 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Fyur1ous | 21 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | Jawn | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Diabetic Johnson | 15 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | 582 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jawn | 273 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 201 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Skeenter | 186 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Devil of the Rhine | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +6.44 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Skeenter | +2.36 | 74 | 44 |
| #3 | Devil of the Rhine | +1.94 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | Jawn | +0.25 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | +0.20 | 84 | 34 |





