








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




213 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6841 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4965 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5027 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6273 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,811 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 48% | 384 |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 48% | 412 |
| #3 | honk honk | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 46% | 174 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 45% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | honk honk | 47% | 135 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 46% | 174 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 45% | 221 |
| #6 | lilmegxo | 39% | 454 |
| #7 | Theodore Bagwell | 36% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 120 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 50 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Theodore Bagwell | 45 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 38 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 32 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 1237 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 1115 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #3 | honk honk | 760 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #4 | lilmegxo | 633 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #5 | AWPenheimer | 614 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +4.10 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | honk honk | +2.49 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | Sandy Cheeks | +2.00 | 57 | 60 |
| #4 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | +1.93 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | AWPenheimer | +0.20 | 52 | 54 |





