








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2785 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2215 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,559 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 48% | 205 |
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 46% | 174 |
| #3 | honk honk | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 44% | 210 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 46% | 174 |
| #3 | honk honk | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 44% | 210 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 38% | 61 |
| #6 | lilmegxo | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 65 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 29 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 29 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | lilmegxo | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 815 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 612 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | honk honk | 269 | 0.36 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ted Kaczynski | 230 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +3.63 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | honk honk | +2.62 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | +0.72 | 57 | 60 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | -0.05 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | -0.40 | 57 | 60 |





