








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




162 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11593 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6888 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5557 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5102 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,407,677 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 965 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk honk | 51% | 308 |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 50% | 673 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 48% | 384 |
| #4 | Sandy Cheeks | 48% | 160 |
| #5 | AWPenheimer | 44% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 48% | 384 |
| #4 | Sandy Cheeks | 48% | 160 |
| #5 | AWPenheimer | 44% | 210 |
| #6 | bractea | 40% | 63 |
| #7 | lilmegxo | 37% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 167 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 59 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | honk honk | 55 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 43 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 16 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk honk | 1881 | 0.31 | 56 min |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 1819 | 0.14 | 53 min |
| #3 | AWPenheimer | 785 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #4 | Ted Kaczynski | 595 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 298 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +2.80 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | honk honk | +1.15 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | +0.58 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | -0.59 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | -0.93 | 58 | 60 |





