








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




281 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12097 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9464 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5927 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7914 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,478 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 50% | 673 |
| #2 | honk honk | 48% | 227 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 48% | 412 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 48% | 205 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 46% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 48% | 412 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | 48% | 205 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 46% | 237 |
| #6 | bractea | 39% | 74 |
| #7 | lilmegxo | 35% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 100 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 67 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | AWPenheimer | 44 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | honk honk | 35 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 20 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 2229 | 0.17 | 58 min |
| #2 | honk honk | 1400 | 0.31 | 42 min |
| #3 | AWPenheimer | 713 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | Ted Kaczynski | 546 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | 438 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +3.02 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | honk honk | +1.55 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | +0.99 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | AWPenheimer | -0.19 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | Sandy Cheeks | -0.40 | 58 | 60 |





