








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7522 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6935 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6471 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6873 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,192,595 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 48% | 160 |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 46% | 237 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 45% | 221 |
| #4 | Luigi | 45% | 204 |
| #5 | ₣ Ɇ Ɽ ₳ Ⱡ | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bractea | 38% | 125 |
| #7 | lilmegxo | 38% | 174 |
| #8 | AWPenheimer | 38% | 61 |
| #9 | Theodore Bagwell | 36% | 123 |
| #10 | tetro | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luigi | 177 | 0.0442 |
| #2 | Theodore Bagwell | 78 | 0.0324 |
| #3 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 73 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | ₣ Ɇ Ɽ ₳ Ⱡ | 46 | 0.0293 |
| #5 | Ted Kaczynski | 42 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 604 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 581 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Luigi | 550 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Theodore Bagwell | 399 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ted Kaczynski | 392 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | +3.52 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Luigi | +2.92 | 56 | 42 |
| #3 | Sandy Cheeks | +1.54 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | +0.36 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | ₣ Ɇ Ɽ ₳ Ⱡ | +0.21 | 81 | 63 |





