








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 257 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4923 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3541 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3226 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,808,225 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Shelter | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | New boi lemon | 54% | 104 |
| #3 | Toony | 52% | 229 |
| #4 | BelaDaLynx | 51% | 82 |
| #5 | Knight- | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwumpy Shork | 60 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Toony | 24 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | New boi lemon | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Shark Bait | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | -Shelter | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toony | 327 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | BelaDaLynx | 223 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Idaho Paratrooper | 202 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Shark Bait | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | 120 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwumpy Shork | +4.16 | 76 | 21 |
| #2 | -Shelter | +3.43 | 61 | 57 |
| #3 | Idaho Paratrooper | +3.02 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | BelaDaLynx | +2.66 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | impr0vise | +1.33 | 56 | 53 |





