








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3104 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2939 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3803 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,898 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 740 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New boi lemon | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Knight- | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | Soviet Waffles | 47% | 156 |
| #4 | Dzurek | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | Riot dog | 45% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIVEHEAD | +3.11 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | it doesn't get better | +3.09 | 48 | 37 |
| #3 | Soviet Waffles | +3.08 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | Idaho Paratrooper | +2.80 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | +2.03 | 73 | 23 |





