








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2756 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2203 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1770 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2277 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,218 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riot dog | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Juno | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | ~Wolfy~ | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Shark Bait | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riot dog | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Juno | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ~Wolfy~ | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Shark Bait | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gwumpy Shork | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwumpy Shork | +4.21 | 75 | 21 |
| #2 | BelaDaLynx | +2.38 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | Juno | +1.51 | 37 | 60 |
| #4 | Shark Bait | -2.41 | 9 | 52 |
| #5 | Riot dog | -3.56 | 25 | 40 |





