








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1838 | 48% |
| Smokes | 534 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 714 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,054 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Scorch65 | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Baby Jack | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | Rusty | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Old Jack | 42% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Jack | +4.98 | 57 | 31 |
| #2 | Rusty | +3.69 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | PegLovesFaultyProstates | +2.96 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | Old Jack | +2.67 | 56 | 41 |
| #5 | Good Jack | +0.56 | 54 | 30 |





