








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1159 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1185 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2429 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1643 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,044 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Ratz | Mummadude | 52% | 114 |
| #3 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | Ratz | Knallskott | 48% | 117 |
| #5 | Ratz | Krooz^ | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Professional Bitch | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Ratz | Mummadude | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Ratz | Knallskott | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | mr2 | 195 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ratz | Knallskott | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ratz | Mummadude | 104 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Professional Bitch | 68 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ratz | Castle | 52 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | +3.62 | 80 | 21 |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | +2.08 | 81 | 37 |
| #3 | Ratz | Mummadude | +0.86 | 46 | 42 |
| #4 | Ratz | Castle | +0.82 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | Ratz | Krooz^ | +0.39 | 59 | 35 |





