








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 18% |
| Smokes | 988 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1157 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,911 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Ratz | Castle | 54% | 63 |
| #3 | Ratz | Krooz^ | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | Ratz | mr2 | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ratz | mr2 | 52% | 79 |
| #6 | Ratz | lihou969 | 52% | 114 |
| #7 | Professional Bitch | 52% | 188 |
| #8 | Ratz | Knallskott | 50% | 143 |
| #9 | Ratz | limpen14 | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | mr2 | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | poo | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ratz | Knallskott | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ratz | Castle | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | Knallskott | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | 152 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ratz | Castle | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ratz | lihou969 | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Professional Bitch | 53 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | +3.53 | 78 | 27 |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | +2.36 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | Ratz | Castle | +1.05 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Ratz | Mummadude | +0.95 | 49 | 43 |
| #5 | Ratz | Krooz^ | +0.46 | 59 | 38 |





