








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2349 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2592 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2577 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1549 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,478,824 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Professional Bitch | 44% | 247 |
| #7 | Ratz | mr2 | 43% | 207 |
| #8 | Ratz | limpen14 | 42% | 113 |
| #9 | poo | 42% | 43 |
| #10 | Hobo | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | mr2 | 27 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Ratz | Castle | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Ratz | lihou969 | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Ratz | Chaotic Neutral | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | poo | 7 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratz | mr2 | 456 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hobo | 200 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ratz | Castle | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ratz | Mummadude | 128 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Professional Bitch | 109 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poo | +3.38 | 77 | 25 |
| #2 | Ratz | mr2 | +2.23 | 84 | 39 |
| #3 | Ratz | Mummadude | +1.04 | 50 | 43 |
| #4 | Ratz | Castle | +0.65 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Ratz | limpen14 | +0.27 | 39 | 46 |





