








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 23% |
| Smokes | 971 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1038 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 690 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,275 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naxx'Ril | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Silentway_ | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪ RealCyron | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | ♛k1nG_cRowN♛ EveryRoundFullBuy | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Nikil | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | spa1teN | 42% | 31 |
| #11 | ☁ R3D ☁ | 41% | 27 |
| #12 | timoweide | 36% | 14 |
| #13 | ian | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | Tobias | AMC2000 | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrissiMZ | 221 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nikil | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ☁ R3D ☁ | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♛k1nG_cRowN♛ EveryRoundFullBuy | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | PC Principal | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nexinus | +3.37 | 77 | 39 |
| #2 | PC Principal | +2.54 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | chrissiMZ | +1.51 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | Nikil | +1.42 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | ♛k1nG_cRowN♛ EveryRoundFullBuy | +0.84 | 34 | 63 |





