








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 58 | 5% |
| Smokes | 52 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 593 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,015 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkrai | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Jawn | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | Devil of the Rhine | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Skeenter | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | gerald | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Irusu | 43% | 76 |
| #8 | Fyur1ous | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Brimski | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | wya14k._ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irusu | 23 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | gerald | 10 | 0.0340 |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Jawn | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | 4 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawn | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | gerald | 56 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Diabetic Johnson | 53 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Irusu | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skeenter | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gerald | +7.29 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | Darkrai | +4.88 | 89 | 41 |
| #3 | Skeenter | +3.50 | 79 | 35 |
| #4 | Jawn | +0.00 | 52 | 62 |
| #5 | Fyur1ous | -0.05 | 88 | 27 |





