








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 173 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 18% |
| Smokes | 526 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 445 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 943 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,583 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2095 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachtheZebra | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 47% | 120 |
| #3 | roland poland | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | yohan | 45% | 122 |
| #5 | SenseiKeo | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yohan | 45% | 122 |
| #5 | SenseiKeo | 45% | 47 |
| #6 | HLX Rez | 44% | 253 |
| #7 | Ep1c_Matrix | 37% | 188 |
| #8 | germany | 27% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 45 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Ep1c_Matrix | 18 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 18 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | yohan | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | SenseiKeo | 8 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 795 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 314 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | roland poland | 260 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | SenseiKeo | 243 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ep1c_Matrix | 113 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roland poland | +6.87 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | ZachtheZebra | +4.24 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | HLX Rez | +3.44 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | yohan | +1.26 | 63 | 31 |
| #5 | SenseiKeo | +0.94 | 26 | 34 |





