










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




103 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10066 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5467 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3167 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6443 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,456,619 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2014 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZachtheZebra | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | roland poland | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | 2022 kx250 | 47% | 120 |
| #4 | HLX Rez | 46% | 329 |
| #5 | yohan | 43% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | roland poland | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | 2022 kx250 | 47% | 120 |
| #4 | HLX Rez | 46% | 329 |
| #5 | yohan | 43% | 192 |
| #6 | Ep1c_Matrix | 40% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 83 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | 2022 kx250 | 25 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | yohan | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Ep1c_Matrix | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | ZachtheZebra | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 1204 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | roland poland | 289 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | yohan | 127 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZachtheZebra | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ep1c_Matrix | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roland poland | +6.46 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | HLX Rez | +1.94 | 59 | 55 |
| #3 | ZachtheZebra | +1.93 | 80 | 48 |
| #4 | yohan | +0.16 | 59 | 32 |
| #5 | 2003 Lexus is300 | -0.60 | 39 | 60 |





