








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1039 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1617 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2962 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1997 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2688 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,957,927 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2090 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 1098 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 582 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | ZachtheZebra | 579 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | Xertion Peek | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |





