








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 314 | 32% |
| Smokes | 357 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 183 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,238 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ep1c_Matrix | 38% | 40 |
| #5 | HLX Rez | 36% | 53 |
| #6 | yohan | 35% | 20 |
| #7 | 2022 kx250 | 27% | 49 |
| #8 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 21% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2022 kx250 | 11 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | HLX Rez | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Ep1c_Matrix | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | SenseiKeo | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 192 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | SenseiKeo | 137 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ep1c_Matrix | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | yohan | 29 | 0.07 | 0 min |





