








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2169 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1921 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1239 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1395 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,940 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ep1c_Matrix | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | 2022 kx250 | 46% | 67 |
| #8 | yohan | 44% | 48 |
| #9 | Xertion Peek | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | ZachtheZebra | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 23 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | 2022 kx250 | 19 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Ep1c_Matrix | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | yohan | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 529 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 259 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | 141 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | kesk | 73 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZachtheZebra | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roland poland | +5.01 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | kesk | +4.10 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | JIMBO JIMBEEZY | +1.80 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | ZachtheZebra | +0.42 | 74 | 48 |
| #5 | HLX Rez | +0.32 | 54 | 53 |





