








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3197 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2407 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3328 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,235,357 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRIZZ | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | austin | 78% | 27 |
| #3 | Astro | 71% | 191 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 71% | 72 |
| #5 | Frankfurda | 70% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Doltrax | 67% | 57 |
| #9 | nate | 65% | 105 |
| #10 | Dreg | 62% | 154 |
| #11 | AnOn | 62% | 39 |
| #12 | GATOR | 61% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 59 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Nuaj | 41 | 0.0307 |
| #3 | spak | 13 | 0.0185 |
| #4 | Frankfurda | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Dreg | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreg | 736 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Frankfurda | 691 | 0.33 | 19 min |
| #3 | Astro | 681 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #4 | nate | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nuaj | 215 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSpenda | +3.88 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Astro | +3.65 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | Nuaj | +3.47 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | CHRIZZ | +2.41 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | nate | +1.91 | 80 | 48 |





