








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9347 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8107 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5148 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5972 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,642 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2093 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | 80% | 46 |
| #2 | Deathray2 | 73% | 41 |
| #3 | BigSpenda | 72% | 36 |
| #4 | Astro | 72% | 234 |
| #5 | spak | 71% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Doltrax | 68% | 125 |
| #9 | Dreg | 68% | 112 |
| #10 | nate | 68% | 233 |
| #11 | AnOn | 67% | 43 |
| #12 | GATOR | 60% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 57 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | spak | 17 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | nate | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 14 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | CHRIZZ | 12 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 679 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | nate | 543 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | CHRIZZ | 530 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Dreg | 454 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | spak | 444 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSpenda | +4.11 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Astro | +3.77 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | Nuaj | +3.76 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Frankfurda | +2.43 | 73 | 78 |
| #5 | nate | +1.73 | 79 | 48 |





