








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 585 matches | ||
| Wingman | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




392 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11112 | 32% |
| Smokes | 10640 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7976 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5527 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,601,512 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frankfurda | 72% | 234 |
| #2 | ♡✧ lunar ✧♡ | 71% | 191 |
| #3 | austin | 70% | 97 |
| #4 | Dreg | 70% | 165 |
| #5 | GATOR | 69% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Yoda | 46 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Doltrax | 30 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | spak | 30 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | nate | 25 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ♡✧ lunar ✧♡ | 21 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frankfurda | 1199 | 0.27 | 32 min |
| #2 | nate | 939 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #3 | Dreg | 750 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #4 | spak | 693 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #5 | Doltrax | 647 | 0.12 | 18 min |





