








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1393 matches | ||
| Faceit | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
21004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9638 | 24% |
| Smokes | 11972 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 13093 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5175 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,081,320 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NDB | 79% | 110 |
| #2 | beastcat | 77% | 106 |
| #3 | redtext | 76% | 123 |
| #4 | gwanwoo | 73% | 129 |
| #5 | parasyte | 70% | 329 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 86 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | hopoverhoodofjaguarlikeajaguar | 57 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | parasyte | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Doltrax | 24 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | spak | 24 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | 1276 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #2 | Frankfurda | 1253 | 0.27 | 32 min |
| #3 | spak | 1168 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #4 | hopoverhoodofjaguarlikeajaguar | 1047 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #5 | Doltrax | 1018 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redtext | +4.08 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | NDB | +2.42 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | Astro | +2.05 | 90 | 58 |
| #4 | gwanwoo | +1.93 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | nate | +1.88 | 81 | 50 |





