








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2734 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2856 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1561 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2567 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,403,644 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Munkk1 | 58% | 95 |
| #5 | vesmos | 58% | 114 |
| #6 | Tomppaboy | 58% | 211 |
| #7 | dulai | 52% | 42 |
| #8 | .sn0w | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomppaboy | 444 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | MNELKKU-S | 286 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Munkk1 | 185 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | vesmos | 155 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | dulai | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |





