








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 6% |
| Smokes | 3122 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2993 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2092 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,645,426 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FafnirV2 | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Fafnir | 52% | 328 |
| #3 | Prime | 52% | 192 |
| #4 | Balls n cider | 50% | 389 |
| #5 | ArchieTheGamer | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Balls n cider | 50% | 389 |
| #5 | ArchieTheGamer | 49% | 78 |
| #6 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 48% | 266 |
| #7 | JuanSpeed25 | 47% | 190 |
| #8 | Yakult | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Fafnir | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Prime | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JuanSpeed25 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Balls n cider | 3 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fafnir | 1127 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Balls n cider | 481 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | JuanSpeed25 | 283 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Prime | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 131 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +2.10 | 70 | 47 |
| #2 | FafnirV2 | +1.56 | 55 | 80 |
| #3 | Yakult | +1.42 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | Fafnir | +0.75 | 59 | 80 |
| #5 | Balls n cider | +0.59 | 47 | 61 |





