








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5093 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8331 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7255 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4419 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,210,924 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FafnirV2 | 71% | 78 |
| #2 | Yakult | 58% | 196 |
| #3 | Prime | 56% | 475 |
| #4 | Fafnir | 55% | 630 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 52% | 388 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fafnir | 55% | 630 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 52% | 388 |
| #6 | ArchieTheGamer | 52% | 225 |
| #7 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 51% | 442 |
| #8 | oishi | 50% | 389 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuanSpeed25 | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Yakult | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Prime | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Fafnir | 7 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fafnir | 1926 | 0.16 | 52 min |
| #2 | JuanSpeed25 | 504 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Prime | 485 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | FafnirV2 | 244 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Yakult | 177 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +2.28 | 69 | 44 |
| #2 | FafnirV2 | +1.55 | 58 | 77 |
| #3 | Yakult | +1.32 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Fafnir | +0.98 | 60 | 77 |
| #5 | Balls n cider | +0.89 | 49 | 58 |





