








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2967 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5010 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4463 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2626 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,049,732 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FafnirV2 | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | Yakult | 57% | 183 |
| #3 | Fafnir | 57% | 496 |
| #4 | Balls n cider | 56% | 475 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 53% | 400 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Balls n cider | 56% | 475 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 53% | 400 |
| #6 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 53% | 317 |
| #7 | oishi | 52% | 192 |
| #8 | ArchieTheGamer | 49% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuanSpeed25 | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Fafnir | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Balls n cider | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Yakult | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fafnir | 1514 | 0.16 | 41 min |
| #2 | JuanSpeed25 | 493 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #3 | Balls n cider | 458 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | Yakult | 186 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jelq Maxxing Sigma | 134 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +2.28 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | Yakult | +1.40 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | Fafnir | +0.99 | 58 | 77 |
| #4 | Balls n cider | +0.96 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | FafnirV2 | +0.55 | 57 | 75 |





