








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2534 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2710 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,980 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArchieTheGamer | 53% | 146 |
| #2 | Prime | 53% | 317 |
| #3 | Balls n cider | 51% | 442 |
| #4 | Fafnir | 50% | 438 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 49% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Balls n cider | 51% | 442 |
| #4 | Fafnir | 50% | 438 |
| #5 | JuanSpeed25 | 49% | 216 |
| #6 | oishi | 48% | 266 |
| #7 | Yakult | 47% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls n cider | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Yakult | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Fafnir | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Prime | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | oishi | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fafnir | 1435 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #2 | Balls n cider | 458 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Prime | 316 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | JuanSpeed25 | 307 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Yakult | 238 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +2.63 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | Yakult | +1.19 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | Balls n cider | +1.11 | 49 | 59 |
| #4 | Fafnir | +1.00 | 59 | 78 |
| #5 | ArchieTheGamer | +0.44 | 32 | 36 |





