








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1078 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 927 matches | ||
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




205 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9406 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9588 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12570 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 12878 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,776,740 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Betrox | 68% | 244 |
| #2 | Fleso21 | 65% | 484 |
| #3 | Un4gettableMatt | 62% | 356 |
| #4 | OYSHI | 61% | 615 |
| #5 | vladimus | 60% | 361 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tyler durden | 60% | 217 |
| #7 | headshot machine | 59% | 655 |
| #8 | Freeman*- | 58% | 366 |
| #9 | PLEXAR! | 53% | 232 |
| #10 | NETVOR | 50% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 58 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Fleso21 | 44 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | OYSHI | 32 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Betrox | 32 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Un4gettableMatt | 28 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 2286 | 0.18 | 61 min |
| #2 | OYSHI | 1623 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #3 | Fleso21 | 1430 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #4 | Un4gettableMatt | 704 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #5 | PLEXAR! | 600 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | +3.44 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | headshot machine | +2.64 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | tyler durden | +2.05 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | Un4gettableMatt | +1.87 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | OYSHI | +0.81 | 79 | 59 |





