








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 324 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3136 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4357 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4806 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,396,216 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 813 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vladimus | 65% | 128 |
| #2 | Betrox | 65% | 71 |
| #3 | Un4gettableMatt | 63% | 111 |
| #4 | OYSHI | 60% | 272 |
| #5 | fAME- | 58% | 366 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | headshot machine | 56% | 305 |
| #8 | tyler durden | 56% | 126 |
| #9 | K0han- | 56% | 215 |
| #10 | NETVOR | 52% | 79 |
| #11 | PLEXAR! | 51% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | 45 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | headshot machine | 31 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | K0han- | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | OYSHI | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | NETVOR | 12 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 1206 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | OYSHI | 703 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | fAME- | 655 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | K0han- | 512 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #5 | PLEXAR! | 456 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | +3.42 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | K0han- | +3.01 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | headshot machine | +2.38 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | tyler durden | +1.94 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | Un4gettableMatt | +1.71 | 79 | 70 |





