








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 788 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 415 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12439 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8088 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6511 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8320 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,678,559 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Betrox | 73% | 117 |
| #2 | OYSHI | 65% | 277 |
| #3 | fAME- | 65% | 484 |
| #4 | vladimus | 60% | 166 |
| #5 | Un4gettableMatt | 60% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fAME- | 84 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | headshot machine | 33 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Un4gettableMatt | 29 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Betrox | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | K0han- | 13 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headshot machine | 1116 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | fAME- | 791 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #3 | OYSHI | 719 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Un4gettableMatt | 561 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | K0han- | 264 | 0.13 | 7 min |





