








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2156 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2694 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1851 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2140 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,010 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | silver0wn | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | horizon | 58% | 33 |
| #6 | alfie | 57% | 168 |
| #7 | Smithy | 56% | 212 |
| #8 | Chouby | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithy | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | alfie | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | silver0wn | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | LiganFs | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | hayes | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiganFs | 910 | 0.25 | 25 min |
| #2 | Smithy | 811 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | alfie | 573 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | hayes | 455 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | horizon | 219 | 0.30 | 7 min |





