








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Renown | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,104 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7477 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5116 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5895 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5791 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,207,821 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 980 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | alfie | 56% | 384 |
| #7 | :D|D: | 56% | 79 |
| #8 | phil | 54% | 52 |
| #9 | Smithy | 53% | 629 |
| #10 | @fpsterby | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithy | 51 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | alfie | 22 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | LiganFs | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | :D|D: | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | horizon | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithy | 2165 | 0.16 | 58 min |
| #2 | LiganFs | 1789 | 0.24 | 50 min |
| #3 | alfie | 1080 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #4 | horizon | 867 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #5 | Rabbit | 367 | 0.10 | 9 min |





