








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Faceit | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 49 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15051 | 36% |
| Smokes | 11171 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7743 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7802 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,820,343 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | hayes | 56% | 362 |
| #6 | Smithy | 55% | 631 |
| #7 | horizon | 55% | 156 |
| #8 | Chouby | 55% | 129 |
| #9 | @fpsterby | 52% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithy | 2088 | 0.16 | 54 min |
| #2 | alfie | 1336 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #3 | hayes | 1044 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | horizon | 838 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #5 | Rabbit | 366 | 0.10 | 8 min |





