








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3091 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2157 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2013 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,124 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1629 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 51% | 94 |
| #2 | 2022 kx250 | 45% | 47 |
| #3 | Ep1c_Matrix | 42% | 64 |
| #4 | yohan | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | germany | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 2022 kx250 | 45% | 47 |
| #3 | Ep1c_Matrix | 42% | 64 |
| #4 | yohan | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | germany | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | 2022 kx250 | 9 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Ep1c_Matrix | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | germany | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | 326 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | 2003 Lexus is300 | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ep1c_Matrix | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | yohan | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | germany | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HLX Rez | +4.15 | 61 | 47 |
| #2 | yohan | +1.03 | 46 | 29 |
| #3 | SenseiKeo | -0.34 | 25 | 39 |
| #4 | 2003 Lexus is300 | -0.45 | 28 | 62 |
| #5 | 2022 kx250 | -1.96 | 32 | 13 |





