








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 374 matches | ||
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10842 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7153 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5821 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6883 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,974,703 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | 56% | 192 |
| #2 | orCheese | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | BEAST | 52% | 312 |
| #4 | infrnL | 50% | 240 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | orCheese | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | BEAST | 52% | 312 |
| #4 | infrnL | 50% | 240 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 50% | 76 |
| #6 | HtR | 47% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | orCheese | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | cem | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Palm_Tr33 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | infrnL | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 1265 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | orCheese | 1030 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | cem | 780 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #4 | BEAST | 480 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 354 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | +0.93 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | cem | +0.76 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | orCheese | +0.54 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | TherlBread | +0.42 | 64 | 76 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | +0.37 | 58 | 66 |





