








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2732 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2603 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2292 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2188 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,217 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orCheese | 58% | 182 |
| #2 | HtR | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | BEAST | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | TherlBread | 56% | 192 |
| #5 | infrnL | 55% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HtR | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | BEAST | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | TherlBread | 56% | 192 |
| #5 | infrnL | 55% | 145 |
| #6 | Palm_Tr33 | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | orCheese | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | TherlBread | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | infrnL | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 787 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | TherlBread | 666 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | orCheese | 663 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | BEAST | 291 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 148 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | +1.22 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | BEAST | +0.96 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | orCheese | +0.57 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | TherlBread | +0.21 | 61 | 78 |
| #5 | HtR | +0.21 | 68 | 57 |





