








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 469 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3082 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5682 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3726 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4234 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,456 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | 58% | 179 |
| #2 | Palm_Tr33 | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | infrnL | 53% | 255 |
| #4 | orCheese | 52% | 283 |
| #5 | TherlBread | 52% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | infrnL | 53% | 255 |
| #4 | orCheese | 52% | 283 |
| #5 | TherlBread | 52% | 312 |
| #6 | lolufrank | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | HtR | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orCheese | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | infrnL | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | cem | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | TherlBread | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 1420 | 0.25 | 34 min |
| #2 | TherlBread | 1136 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #3 | orCheese | 908 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #4 | cem | 692 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | Palm_Tr33 | 429 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cem | +0.93 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | lolufrank | +0.85 | 61 | 75 |
| #3 | BEAST | +0.73 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Palm_Tr33 | +0.47 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | TherlBread | +0.35 | 62 | 78 |





